i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
