It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
