i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
