I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
