Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
