she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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