I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
