guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
