We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
