i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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