That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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