i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
