he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
