Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
