He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize