I need help removing her.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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