Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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