Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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