are you still at the devil's house?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize