its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
