Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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