part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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