Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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