I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
