Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
