I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
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My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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