Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
