Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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