Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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