took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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