the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
