Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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