Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
