Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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