so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
