what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
