His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize