Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
