best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
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My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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