My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
