I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
