I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
smell my finger.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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