We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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