so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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