I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Randomize
