all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
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One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
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She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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