I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
