there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I smell like Dick and happiness
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
