Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize