i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
