Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
