My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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