we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize