I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize