It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just want to make out with him forever
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize