I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
